Okay, look. Let’s chat about “Doom: The Dark Ages”—because, oh boy, it’s a ride. Literally. So, you got this whole gameplay vibe that’s just, well, spot on, ya know? Shield parrying? Heck yes. Weapons? All sorts of boom and bang, with that shotgun being the crowd-pleaser. Love me a good shotgun. But then—wow, here’s where it gets a bit, um, wacky—I mean, dragons and giant mechs? Sure, cool in theory. But here? Kinda feels like mixing pizza with, I dunno, ice cream. Both great. Together? Questionable.
So, the Atlan. This big ol’ mech stomps around like it’s having a go at a “Pacific Rim” moment. Smashing stuff, tossing punches—good times, right? Except, wait. There’s no chainsaw shield? Seriously? You’ve got fists, a bit of stomping, and dodging like it’s a mech-sized game of hopscotch. It’s like trying to eat spaghetti with a spoon. It kinda works, but it’s clunky, gets messy. Just saying.
And—but hold up—the real kicker is when this mech gets a massive gun. Finally! Blow stuff up! Yes, please. But this ammo-charge-via-dodge thing? I don’t even know. Makes zero sense. Why can’t I just keep blasting away? It’s like they offered a candy and snatched it back. Rude.
Now dragons. Oh man, if playing as a mechanical dragon sounds epic to you, you’re not alone. Yet, there I was, not soaring dramatically past clouds but… waiting around? For turrets? Come on! It’s like they handed you a Ferrari and told you to drive it around a parking lot. Sure, there’s a bit of fun when things pick up and you’re zooming around. Felt a bit like I was in some space shooter—just for a hot second, before everything cooled down again. Like being promised fireworks that never quite explode.
Oh, the game gets a lot right. Its whole medieval-with-lasers scene? Pure gold. And that chainsaw shield? Yes, yes, and more yes. Those bits shine so bright that when you end up in one of these oddball sections, it’s like, why? The ideas? Good on paper. Execution? Meh. Maybe next time, when someone says “hey, let’s throw in a dragon,” they’ll make sure it rocks as hard as our Doom Slayer pal. Fingers crossed, yeah?
